


Sweatpants Dick

by grasonas



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Buffy Manes is a very good girl, Canon Disabled Character, Isobel and Alex are besties, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22959994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grasonas/pseuds/grasonas
Summary: "Please, for the love of everyone, woo him with your dick and get back together?”Or the one where Isobel makes Alex buy a pair of gray sweatpants to woo Michael with his dick.
Relationships: Isobel Evans/Maria Deluca (Implied), Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 30
Kudos: 182





	Sweatpants Dick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmiceverafter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmiceverafter/gifts), [beka1820](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beka1820/gifts), [SaadieStuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaadieStuff/gifts).



> Cosmopolitan Magazine [once suggested](https://nullrefer.com/?https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a16734797/sex-things-women-should-know-twenties)  
>  _Tell your guy to buy light-colored sweatpants. The silhouette of his boner through thick gray cotton is nothing short of art. You deserve this._
> 
> This spoke to me as a prompt and I had to write it. There's a lot of talk about dicks/boners/cocks in here, but nothing too explicit is actually happening. Uhm... sorry?
> 
> I'm dedicating this fic to my Junkyard cheerleading squad Jess, Beka and Sadie. Endless thanks for the quick beta, your enthusiasm, and encouragement. It truly means the world to me! ♥♥♥

“Black or blue?” 

Alex held up two pairs of sweatpants, one black, one dark blue. 

“If you have to buy one of these atrocious looking pants, buy at least a gray one.” 

Alex raised one eyebrow in question. 

“They may be atrocious looking, but they’re comfy. I only wear them at home anyway. Why gray though?” 

Isobel sighed in faux exasperation. 

“Did you never read _Cosmo_ , Cap?” 

Alex’s eyebrow climbed a little higher on his forehead. 

“I'm friends with Maria and Liz, of course I read _Cosmo_ . When we were _teenagers_.” 

“Well, seems like you learned nothing, honey.” 

She changed her posture to a somewhat dramatic pose. 

“ _The silhouette of his boner through thick gray cotton is nothing short of art,_ ” she declaimed. 

Alex’s eyes were in severe danger of bugging out of his head. He blinked. 

“Say what now?” 

“Come on, Alex. Have you never seen a man sporting a boner in gray sweatpants? If so, I’m feeling very sorry for you.” 

“Uhm.” 

Alex struggled not to blush, but damn, Isobel talking so bluntly about boners was giving him a hard time ( _not_ literally, thank god). 

“You can’t tell me you were in the Air Force for over a decade and you never saw anyone with a semi or full hard-on in sweatpants?” 

“Believe it or not, Isobel, people tend to be very private with their boners around the gay guy. Wouldn’t want to tempt him.” 

Isobel looked offended. 

“Ugh, these people would’ve been so lucky for you to pay attention to their inferior dicks in the first place.” 

She grabbed a pair of gray sweatpants from the table, checked the label and looked over her shoulder at Alex. 

“Come on, Cap, this is your size, and I’m ready to commit murder for a coffee. Go get the other bags and meet me at the exit.” 

With that, Isobel left Alex standing in the middle of the shop and went to pay for the gray sweatpants. Alex sighed. He quickly re-folded the black and blue pants he was still holding and put them neatly back where he’d found them. Then he picked up the bags from their earlier shopping spree and followed Isobel. 

When they sat at their usual table at the Crashdown half an hour later, Alex had had enough time to get his composure back. 

“So, Evans, what do _you_ know about boners in gray sweatpants?” 

Alex smirked when Isobel almost choked on the sip of coffee in her mouth. Alex handed her a napkin. She grabbed it and dabbed at a spill of coffee on her chin. 

“I grew up with a brother.” 

Alex’s face twisted in disgust. 

“Ew, Isobel, please don’t ever give me the mental image of your brother with a boner.” 

Now it was Isobel’s turn to smirk. 

“Well, I know for a fact that you’re only opposed to the mental image of _one_ of my brothers’ boners.” 

Alex hung his head and was ready to just die on the spot. 

“I can’t believe that we’re having this conversation at three in the afternoon.” 

“What, do you only talk about dicks at night?” 

“If you don’t mind, I would prefer not to talk about dicks with you at any time of the day.” 

Isobel reached across the table and pinched Alex’s cheek. 

“Don’t be a prude, honey. You’re just worried I’m going to mention my brother’s boner again.” 

Alex scrunched his face in disgust. 

“Could you please stop mentioning Max, and especially his dick?” 

Isobel’s smile turned almost diabolical. 

“Who says I was talking about Max this time? If it makes you feel more comfortable, we can talk about Michael’s dick.” 

“What do I have to do to make you stop talking about dicks in general, and your brothers’ dicks in particular?” 

“Wear those gray sweatpants the next time Michael comes over to fix something at the cabin and show off your goods.” 

“My dick is also off limits as a talking point.” 

Isobel schooled her expression and looked at Alex earnestly. 

“Alex, I’ll stop talking about dicks, but please, consider this at least? I know you two have been dancing around each other for a while now, building a friendship and all that. But the pining is reaching unbearable levels. On both sides. Please, for the love of everyone, woo him with your dick and get back together?” 

Alex took a deep, steadying breath. 

“I love him, and he loves me. I know that. He knows that. We’re just both afraid we’ll fuck it up again. That’s why we’re so hesitant.” 

Isobel took Alex’s hand in hers. 

“I know. But you two? You are ready. Have been ready for a while. Woo him with your dick, or just talk to him. You’re not teenagers anymore, neither are you the very broken men you were a year ago. You’ve worked so hard on both yourselves individually, and on your friendship. You won’t fuck it up, I promise.” 

Alex nodded slowly. 

“I guess you’re right. I don’t really feel like wooing him with my dick, but I’ll try to be brave and talk to him next time we see each other.” 

“That’s my boy! I’m so proud of you. You’ll make each other so happy.” 

Isobel pulled Alex’s hand up to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. 

“Go get him, tiger!” 

Alex laughed. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll go and on my drive home I’ll think of a reason to ask him to come over tonight.” 

He gave her a stern look. 

“And no, I won’t be wearing those sweatpants.” 

Isobel pouted. 

“You’re no fun, Manes.” 

“If you’re so fond of gray sweatpants, why have I never seen _you_ wearing them around Maria?” 

Isobel gave him a wink. 

“I know you’re gay and probably not familiar with the female physique, but did you skip sex ed? I’m missing a _prominent_ detail in my nether regions to show off in said pants. I’ve invested in some sheer blouses and nice underwear instead. Which seems to do the trick. I’ve seen her check out my cleavage more than once whenever I spent time at the Pony.” 

Alex smiled at her warmly. 

“Maybe you should also make a move then?” 

Isobel gave his hand another squeeze. 

“You know what, that’s probably a good idea. Let’s both go home, dress nicely and get what we want.” 

They grabbed their bags, put enough cash to cover their coffees and a generous tip on the table, waved goodbye to Arturo and left the Crashdown. When they reached Alex’s car, Isobel pulled him into a one-armed hug. 

“Good luck, Cap. Text me later.” 

Alex inhaled her perfume and let the flowery smell comfort him. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. 

“Good luck to you, too, Iz. I have a feeling you might get lucky tonight.” 

He opened the door of his car and placed the shopping bags on the passenger seat before he climbed in, waved at Isobel one final time, and drove off. 

The closer he got to his cabin, the more nervous he felt. He knew that Isobel was right. They were ready. As ready as two people could be after everything they’d been through. The thought of having _that_ talk with Michael was still terrifying and made his palms feel sweaty. 

Buffy greeted him with an excited ‘woof’ when he opened the door to the cabin. She dropped to the floor and showed off her belly the second the door fell shut behind him, a not so subtle prompt for him to give her belly rubs. He dropped the bags where he stood and kneeled carefully to play and snuggle with his good girl for a while. 

When his knees started hurting, she got up and gave him a soft head butt, as if to tell him to take care of himself. Then she waddled off to plop down on her dog bed for a nap. Alex pulled a nearby chair close enough to support himself standing up. He turned around in search of the shopping bags. They were still near the door. One had toppled over, and the pair of gray sweatpants had fallen out. 

“I can’t believe Isobel Evans talked me into buying gray sweatpants to show off my dick,” he murmured to himself. What exactly was so special about a hard dick in those? He grabbed the pants and the bags and slowly walked over to his bedroom. He checked on Buffy once more. She’d grabbed her favorite plush toy (a little green alien Michael had given to her; she’d covered him in wet dog kisses in her excitement about the gift) and had fallen asleep curled around it. He smiled, then turned back around and closed the door behind him. 

He went over to his bed and took everything he’d bought out of the bags. He laid the items out on the comforter to assess where everything should go in his closet – most prominently the pair of gray sweatpants. On a whim, he took off his boots, wriggled out of his jeans and rolled down his socks and flicked them in the direction of the hamper. Then he reached for the sweatpants and stepped into them. He bent down, adjusted the hem around his prosthetic leg, and slowly pulled them up. They felt nice and were very comfy but there was absolutely nothing special about them. Apart from the color, they were like any other pair of sweatpants he’d ever owned. 

He stepped in front of the large mirror near the window and looked at himself. His hair was tousled, the dark red Henley clung to his torso and showed off his lean waist, toned arms and broad shoulders nicely. As a kid, he’d been small and gangly. Even as a teenager who went skateboarding every day, he’d never been overly broad or muscular. 

A decade in the Air Force had given him the body of a man, though. A soldier, ready and able to attack and stand his ground in combat. Even after losing his leg, he'd worked hard to keep in shape. He was rigorous about his PT exercises to ensure he was as agile and strong as his prosthetic would allow him. 

He looked down at himself in the mirror. At his bare feet. One human, one artificial. The sight no longer made him flinch, and he was grateful. There had been times when he couldn’t stand looking at his feet, a constant reminder of war and his loss. 

Finally, he looked at the part of his body his newest piece of clothing was supposed to make look _outstanding_. Alex frowned. His dick wasn’t exactly on the small side, but there was no outline visible. He sighed. 

“She said ‘silhouette of a _boner_ ’, didn’t she?” 

He grabbed his junk through the thick fabric and gave it a tug. His dick did not react. Of course not, it had no reason to react to a random tug. Alex considered his options for a second. He didn’t look himself in the eyes through the mirror, instead his eyes followed his hands as they slowly pulled down the waistband of the pants, followed by the waistband of his black boxer briefs. 

He pulled his dick out, adjusted his balls, and started stroking. It felt weirdly intimate to look at himself masturbating in the mirror. His dick slowly started hardening under his experienced strokes. He wasn’t actually horny, but soon enough his dick had filled out completely and was hard enough to try and see whether _Cosmo_ had been right. 

He adjusted his dick in his boxer briefs before he pulled up the sweatpants. 

Mhm, not much to see through the folds of the fabric, but what if he bent his cock slightly to the left so it would rest against the curve of his hipbone? He did just that and when he looked in the mirror again, the outline of his hard dick was clearly visible. 

“Niiiice,” he said to himself and smirked. 

Before he got a chance to consider whether to follow through with what he’d started, he heard a noise coming from the porch. Then Buffy let out a small bark in the living room, and Alex forgot about his boner instantly. 

He opened the door of his bedroom and walked to the front door in long strides. He wrenched the door open, Buffy at his heels, when he saw a familiar face under the brim of a black cowboy hat looking at him with wide eyes. 

“Shit, Alex, you startled me.” 

Alex let out a loud sigh of relief. 

“Michael, I didn’t expect you. Neither did I hear your truck. What are you doing here?” 

“Isobel called and told me you mentioned a broken porch light when you were at the Crashdown with her. I finished early and thought I’d come over to fix it.” 

Michael’s eyes slowly wandered down Alex’s figure to take in the sight of the man he loved. He liked the maroon Henley Alex was wearing a lot. He’d never seen Alex wear those sweatpants before. They were gray and hung low on his hips and... Michael blinked. He looked again, then blushed furiously. 

Unless Alex hid some kind of tool (or _toy_ , Michael’s brain provided, completely unhelpful) or a banana in his pants, the outline of Alex’s _hard_ _cock_ was clearly visible underneath the soft looking fabric. Michael gulped. 

“Uhm. Sorry, I... I'll just change the light bulb and be out of your hair in a second.” 

Alex frowned. Why was Michael acting so weird, and why would he want to leave so fast? 

“Thanks, but don’t you want to come in before you leave? There’s beer in the fridge, and I’m sure Buffy would love a thorough belly rub from you.” 

Alex tried to think of other incentives to make Michael stay. 

“Oh yeah, Buffy. Uhm, I could take her for a walk or something? Give you some _privacy_?” 

Michael’s face was beet red, and he tried desperately not to look at the silhouette of Alex’s dick. 

“Privacy? What for?” 

Alex didn’t understand. 

Michael blushed harder, if that was even possible. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he nodded in the general direction of Alex’s dick. 

“To take care of _that_ ? Looks like you were in the middle of _something_ when I disturbed you. Poor timing on my end, I’m sorry.” 

Alex made a noncommittal noise, then it was his turn to blush. 

“Oh my god, no. I mean, it looks like I was in the middle of _something_ , but I only wanted to see if _Cosmo_ was right.” 

Michael looked confused. 

“Cosmo? Never heard of him. Some new guy you met at the conference last week?” 

Michael tried his best to keep any kind of jealousy and judgement out of his voice, but it was hard. Shit, they’d been so close to getting back together recently, and now there was a new guy on the horizon? When Alex let out a breathless laugh, Michael looked up. 

“ _Cosmo_ as in _Cosmopolitan_ , Michael. The magazine?” 

Michael’s face turned into a giant question mark. 

Alex sighed. 

“This is all your sister’s fault. She bought these sweatpants for me to woo you with my dick.” 

“Isobel did what to make you _what_?” 

Alex dropped his head to hide his blushing cheeks. When he heard Michael step closer, he froze. Michael was really close suddenly, and Alex’s heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest any second. 

“You know how much I love your dick. I just don’t quite understand what these pants have to do with any of it?” 

Alex looked up. 

“ _The silhouette of his boner through thick gray cotton is nothing short of art,_ ” he repeated what Isobel had told him earlier this afternoon. Then he smirked and looked at Michael, a challenge in his eyes. 

“Well, whoever said that, clearly knows what they’re talking about. Not that your dick isn’t always a work of art, but I must admit, it looks particularly mouth-watering through thick gray cotton.” 

Alex’s grin almost split his face. Then he flung himself across the short distance between them, right into Michael’s arms. Michael caught him with ease and wrapped him in a tight hug. Michael’s soft curls tickled Alex’s nose when he whispered into his ear. 

“I take it the sweatpants wooing worked?” 

“Darlin’, you’ve been wooing me with your everything since we were seventeen, and your dick in these pants is a glorious boner... I mean _bonus_. Any chance I could take a closer look?” 

Alex leaned back in Michael’s embrace until he could look him in the eyes. 

“I’d love that. You know that this is _it_ , though, right? It’s only going to be my dick from here on out.” 

Michael looked at Alex earnestly. 

“Alex, that’s all I ever wanted. I want you. I want us. I want your dick. Exclusively. Forever.” 

Michael took a deep breath, and there were tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. 

“I love you, Alex.” 

Alex didn’t hesitate and closed the gap between their mouths to kiss Michael long and thorough. He put everything into the kiss. The longing, the hunger, the _love_ for the man in front of him. When he was finished having his fill (for the moment at least), he leant back again to look at Michael. He made sure his hard dick pressed into Michael’s crotch, where it bumped into Michael’s growing hard-on. Alex let out a happy laugh. 

“I want that, too, Michael. You. Us. My dick being yours, your dick being mine. I love you so much and I’ll never let you go.” 

He undulated his hips suggestively, rubbing his hard dick against Michael’s. 

“Let’s take this inside, cowboy, I wanna show off my dick in these pants some more.” 

He took Michael’s hand and led him inside the cabin. Buffy had returned to her dog bed while they'd been talking, and when they entered the living room, she opened one eye and blinked at them as if to check whether they were okay. She seemed to be satisfied with what she saw, pulled her little alien plushie close, and went back to sleep. 

\-- 

Later that night, Isobel’s phone buzzed on the nightstand to her left. She dropped a kiss to the top of Maria’s head where it was lying on her chest and carefully picked up the phone, eager not to wake her sleeping lover. When she opened Alex’s message, she just about managed to suppress a delighted squeal. 

He’d sent her a photo. A pair of gray sweatpants dropped in a heap on the wooden floor of his bedroom, a familiar black cowboy hat sitting on top of it. His message read. “My thanks to Cosmo (and you!) Coffee at the Crashdown tomorrow at 3pm. My treat.” 

Isobel smiled, then she took a photo of her and Maria’s hand, lovingly entwined. She sent it to Alex, adding “It’s a (coffee) date, Cap! <3 We have a lot to celebrate.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ♥
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr (gra-sonas << mind the hyphen!) or Twitter (@grasonas).


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